Your Questions Please
QUESTION:
 Within my own family, my wife and I have had many beautiful experiences in the power of God working in our two children, the elder of which is three, and the younger fifteen months. We rejoice that each day the Lord is teaching us how to bring our children to Him.
There is a question on which we need more light. The older of our two children has a very strong will, and it takes a lot of encouraging sometimes to bring her to the place, where after being disobedient, she is prepared to pray for forgiveness. When she has prayed, she has had wonderful victories, but we are concerned lest the time and effort we expend in bringing her to the place where she is prepared to pray contains an element of force.
We shudder at the thought of using force, and we fear that what we have been doing is too close to using this method. If the Lord has given light on this point we need to see it as we are determined that our children shall be trained according to God's ways and not man's.
ANSWER:
I believe that the answer to this question lies in making a distinction between leading and driving. The first of these two procedures does not involve compulsion, while the second does.
Now, in answering the question we assume that the parents asking it together with all those who are concerned about the same subject, understand that what is said here applies to the children who are truly born again, for only they can be led to make a sincere confession of their sin. It is also to be understood that we are not speaking here of the child's initial conversion experience, otherwise known as the revival, but of the day to day problem of dealing with individual sins, in the work known as the reformation. If you need either an introduction to the subject of "Revival and Reformation", or a refreshing on it, then study the book by that name published by Destiny Press.
The parent who does not understand the distinction between the works of revival and reformation, but is determined to bring his unregenerate child to conviction, repentance, and confession for a particular sin, will certainly have to force the child to pray, for this class of little ones has no inbuilt disposition to acknowledge its errors and come back into harmony with God. We can rely on the fact that any repentance forced in any way from the lips of the guilty will never accomplish true cleansing and restoration, but will only strengthen the spirit of rebellion, and develop an aversion to the truth of God.
At the same time, when a born again child transgresses as they possibly can, their first reaction is a negative one. To understand this, an adult Christian who is truly born again, has but to think of how he or she feels when, inexcusably, the devil gains the victory and a sin is committed. You know that your first reaction is not a disposition to repent and confess, but to hide from the Lord for the present as Adam and Eve did in Eden. You feel that you need some hours in which to live without any further transgressions before you come to ask His forgiveness and restoration, so that you can present yourself before Him with some credibility. Your argument which is never spelled out in specific statements but which is inferred is this: "Lord, I know that I am guilty of having transgressed Your holy law, but that was yesterday. In the meantime, I have lived very correctly, so, You see, that demonstrates that I am not a hopeless reprobate. There is some good in me that merits your saving ministry. Really Lord, I am worth saving, so please forgive and cleanse me."
If born again believers who have not been thoroughly retrained in this area will carefully recall and analyze their thoughts the last time they sinned, it will almost certainly be found that this was the undefined but actual thought pattern which passed through their minds and that they felt much happier about confessing the next day rather than immediately after the sin had been committed.
Another reason for putting off the moment of confession is that it is a humbling, and therefore painful experience, something we would rather defer than face.
But the real fact of the case is that the sinner is no more worthy to receive forgiveness tomorrow than he is today. By being "well-behaved" in the meantime, he accrues no merit or credit whatsoever, but runs the fearful risk of losing eternal life if his probation should close before the cleansing is effected. There is only one time for confession and that is the instant the Holy Spirit brings conviction to you.
Thus it is that when the born again but guilty child seeks a delay in the confession, it is the work of the wise parents to lead the child to come face to face with this vital work immediately.
To be successful in this work, what the parents need is a holy influence, for "By the atmosphere surrounding us, every person with whom we come in contact is consciously or unconsciously affected." Christ's Object Lessons, 339. This is especially true of children, because they are both very sensitive and responsive to the atmosphere surrounding those with whom they are in contact.
The parents need such positive, intelligent convictions as will create a saving atmosphere around then. They need to know that the child has truly sinned and that they must not permit the habit of deferment of confession to form. The little one must learn that it is to come to the Lord without delay. The parents too must be filled with living faith in God's willingness to forgive and cleanse, and with a deep sense of peace and confidence in God.
If the parents approach the situation with this Spirit-charged atmosphere surrounding them, the born again child even though it appears to protest, will respond to the parent's invitation to come and pray. Hand in hand, the little one and one or both of the parents if possible will walk to the secret chamber where prayer is made in the household. No force will be required to drag an unwilling resister, but rather there will be a leading of the sinner to the Saviour.
When the parent and the child have arrived at the place for prayer, it will usually be found that the child will be very reluctant to pray at first. This may appear to be stubborn rebellion, but it is not. Instead, he is lacking confidence and courage, and even though the parent may find this difficult to see, the little one is reaching out for faith and courage with which to face the confession and believe that forgiveness will come.
As Jesus the good Shepherd leads His sheep in the ways of salvation, so parents are to lovingly lead, not drag or drive, their children in the same pathway.
If you find that you have to drag a kicking, screaming resister to the place of prayer, then force is certainly being used and we can rely on the fact that the desired results will never be achieved. The difference between leading and driving should be clear to all concerned.
The parents who submitted this question are receiving encouraging results from the application of the child salvation message. They tell of one experience as follows:
"We had an experience with our three year old a few weeks ago when she lost control of herself for a while. The mother retired with her to the bedroom where they each prayed for forgiveness. When they emerged, the little one asked for her children's Bible with the announcement that she wished to have a study from the tape recorder.
"The tape on at the time was on victory over temptation and sin, so you can imagine our thanks to the Lord for this victory."
